What my 4 online businesses taught me about failure, freedom, and f*ck-ups
Ten years ago I was behind a desk at the Zuidas in Amsterdam—the financial heart of the Netherlands—wearing heels that hurt and pretending I cared about KPIs.
I was “crushing it,” at least according to LinkedIn.
But outside that shiny glass tower, life was happening without me.
I kept thinking about all the family members I’d already lost way too early.
If I only had ten years left… was this really it?
A golden cage, a fat paycheck, and maybe three holidays a year to regulate my nervous system just enough to keep performing until retirement (or collapse)? No thanks.
So I did what everyone told me not to do.
I quit.
Packed my bags.
Bought a one-way ticket to Asia.
The doctor who diagnosed my burnout said, “Don’t travel—too many triggers.”
But the moment I landed, the tears stopped. Instantly. (Which was wild, because I’d been crying for hours every day for four months straight.)
From half-dead office plant to tropical butterfly in 24 hours 🌴🥥
That’s what happens when you finally drop yourself into the environment that feeds your soul instead of draining it.
Somewhere between the coconut water and the culture shock in Myanmar, my entrepreneurial story began.
I promised myself I’d never go back to the 9-to-5 hamster wheel.
If freedom existed, I was going to build it — on Wi-Fi, from anywhere.
That was 2015. I didn’t know I’d end up living in Bali five years later, but… here we are. (That’s a story for another Substack article — subscribe so you don’t miss my future articles hehe).
I also didn’t know it back then, but that was the start of a decade of trial-and-error entrepreneurship — four businesses, countless lessons, and one nervous system that eventually said, enough hustle.
In this post, I’ll walk you through every online business I’ve built since 2015 — how each one started, what went right, what went spectacularly wrong, and what I learned that can save you years of trial, error, and nervous-system chaos.
Buckle up — we’re going on a ten-year entrepreneurial rollercoaster. 🎢
🌍 Business #1: Dutchies Worldwide
(Back when being a “travel influencer” wasn’t even a thing yet.)
After that burnout-turned-awakening in Asia, I knew two things:
I never wanted to work for someone else again.
I wanted freedom—real freedom.
So I did what any completely unqualified, overly-enthusiastic twenty-something would do: I started an online business with zero clue what I was doing 😌
It was called Dutchies Worldwide—basically a global listing platform for Dutch-owned accommodations. Think: an Airbnb-meets-Lonely-Planet-but-make-it-Dutch kind of vibe.
Hosts paid a yearly fee to be featured, and we’d help them with visibility and personal branding. We’d visit their places, shoot photos and videos, write blog articles, and even give them business advice (because my background in hospitality made me notice everything that could be improved).
Looking back, it was genius for a first business—but at the time, I had no idea.
I just thought I was having fun.
We made our first revenue (which blew my mind), and even booked a business trip to Curaçao to meet hosts in person. Three weeks later, we were in the newspaper, people recognized us on the island, and locals invited us for coffee to “hear about the Dutchies project.”
I was like, Wait… what? People actually know who we are?
It was surreal.
But here’s the funny part, I didn’t celebrate it. 😅
I thought, “Yeah, okay, this is just how it goes.”
Meanwhile, most entrepreneurs would’ve killed for those results.
Lesson learned: sometimes you’re already doing something incredible, but you’re too busy doubting yourself to realize it.
Dutchies Worldwide taught me that entrepreneurship is just like travel; you never feel ready, you just buy the ticket and figure it out once you land.
💻 Business #2: The Business Coaching Chapter
(The “everyone’s doing it, so I guess I should too” era.)
After Dutchies Worldwide, I was officially hooked on the freedom of online business — but also low-key panicking because I still didn’t really know what I was doing.
So I did what every ambitious millennial does when they feel a little lost:
I hired a business coach.
She looked at my travel photos and said, “You should become a business coach too! Teach people how to work online and live the digital nomad dream.”
And listen — I love a good bold move, but something in me went, hmm… no.
Because here’s the thing: for me the ‘digital nomad lifestyle’ is just getting on a plane, it is not the big brave act. You literally just buy a ticket and sit your ass in a seat.
That’s logistics, not courage.
What I actually wanted to teach was how to make bold moves — the inner ones, the identity shifts, the “I refuse to play small anymore” kind of moves.
But back then, I didn’t have the language for that yet.
So I did the business-coach thing for a while. I helped people build their online offers, position themselves, grow their income — and I loved the deep work. I loved watching people to go for their dreams.
But here’s what I hated:
the ones who stopped thinking for themselves.
The clients who sat there waiting for me to hand them a magic strategy and say, “Here, just follow this and you’ll make money.”
I don’t do autopilot entrepreneurship. I want co-creation — a two-way street.
Because your business isn’t supposed to sound like me. It’s supposed to sound like you.
And energetically? Six 1:1 clients at once (or more) was too much.
My brain felt like 47 open tabs. Was this the freedom-kind-of-feeling everyone was talking about? I guess not. 👀
I realised I’m not built for juggling — I’m built for depth. Give me one or two 1:1 clients max, and I’ll go all in. Go big or go home. That’s my vibe.
What this business taught me:
You can’t build a business that’s energetically sustainable if you’re operating like someone you’re not.
⚡️ Business #3: BOLD Network
(My biggest success — and my biggest lesson.)
After the one-to-one coaching chapter, I knew two things:
I wanted more freedom from my calendar.
I wanted to be surrounded by people who got it.
So I created BOLD Network — a community for Dutch entrepreneurs who lived abroad, built their businesses online, and were basically done explaining to everyone back home why they didn’t want a “normal job.”
And it worked. Fast.
It grew into a full-blown membership with workshops, business courses, live calls, meet-ups, online events and multiple days summits. I even ran a mastermind called Dedicated — every week. For five years straight.
We had multiple membership tiers, new people joining, building systems behind-the-scenes, growing my team and I finally had that beautiful thing every entrepreneur dreams of: recurring monthly revenue.
But the best part? Some members stayed for years. Some of them even straight from the beginning. That, to me, was the biggest compliment of all.
Still… something started to shift.
Because as much as I loved the community, I started to notice (on a subconscious level) that it was quietly draining me.
Not because of the people (they were amazing), but because of the energetic setup.
I was running on Miss Overdeliver Energy — giving, giving, giving — without anyone even realising how much I was pouring in behind the scenes.
Classic old-soul-in-business behaviour: overdeliver, be undervalued, repeat.
At some point, I realised this wasn’t sustainable.
It wasn’t that the business wasn’t working — it’s that it was no longer working for me.
I learned to value myself, my energy, and my experience more deeply than I ever had before.
And when I say I outgrew BOLD, I mean spiritually, emotionally, and strategically.
I didn’t just want to help people build businesses or figure out the logistics of living abroad. I wanted to help them become who they’re meant to be — to create from identity, not just from income goals.
But the community model, especially at a lower price point, didn’t allow that level of transformation. And if there’s one thing about me, it’s that I don’t do “half-in.”
So, I did the scary thing again.
I closed it.
And it was both heartbreaking and liberating at the same time.
What this chapter taught me:
Just because something works doesn’t mean it still fits.
Sometimes growth means closing a chapter everyone else still loves, but you’ve already evolved beyond it.
🪞 Business #4: Old Soul Business
(The business that finally fits — and the one I’m growing right now.)
The “click moment” didn’t happen during some big launch or new idea.
It happened quietly, during the masterminds I ran inside BOLD.
I started noticing something.
Every established entrepreneur I attracted had the same patterns, the same struggles, the same depth. They weren’t your average business owners.
They were old souls.
They had the same thoughts I used to have:
Why doesn’t this strategy feel right for me?
Why does showing up feel forced?
Why do I keep overgiving and undervaluing myself?
They wanted freedom, depth, impact — but they were trying to reach it through systems that weren’t designed for people like them.
They weren’t made to follow formulas or strategies of others.
They were made to create their own.
And that’s when it clicked.
Everything I’d done so far — the travel business, the coaching, the community — had prepared me for this.
Dutchies Worldwide taught me about freedom.
Business coaching taught me about depth.
BOLD Network taught me about connection and sustainability.
And Old Soul Business? It’s the combination of all three.
This business is different from everything I’ve done before — both practically and energetically. It’s built around how I (and other old souls) actually work best.
On a practical level, it’s a mix of DIY programs — for those who want to go at their own pace and process things deeply — and limited VIP spots for the ones ready to go all-in for two months and create results fast.
That “all or nothing” energy suits me perfectly.
I don’t do half-hearted.
And on an energetic level, I built it to serve me too this time.
That’s a lesson I learned the hard way.
In my earlier businesses, I thought freedom had to be earned through hustle.
Now I know: hustle is the opposite of freedom.
I don’t build a business to one day be free.
I build from freedom.
That’s why I barely have meetings.
I create, write, teach, and build when my energy is right — because that’s when I’m magnetic. That’s when ideas flow, clients come naturally, and everything aligns.
The old model was draining because I kept giving more than I received — thinking people would eventually “see my value.”
They didn’t.
Not because they didn’t appreciate me, but because I didn’t value myself enough first.
Now, that’s a non-negotiable.
My prices reflect my experience, not my guilt.
My business serves others and me.
Because the moment you start honouring your own energy, your results change too.
The Old Soul Business isn’t just a company, it’s a movement for entrepreneurs who build differently.
For the ones who can’t fake consistency, who are too deep for a 60-second reel, who feel invisible even though they’re overflowing with wisdom.
For the ones who want business to feel like truth again.
I use astrology and energetics as guidance, not rules.
It’s not about “launching with the moon” or following cosmic checklists.
It’s about learning how you’re wired, so you can make better, more aligned decisions.
That’s what spirituality really is: not giving your power away, but remembering where it’s been all along.
And it’s funny, I used to be so scared of showing this side of myself.
Astrology? Spirituality? People love to make it sound ridiculous.
But the truth is, it’s just another language for self-awareness.
People who laugh at it often don’t understand it (or themselves).
Old souls do.
They feel it.
They know there’s more to business than just strategy.
And that’s what I’m here to build — and to teach.
Old Soul Business is the first time everything fits.
The freedom, the depth, the strategy, the soul.
It’s the business I was always meant to create.
What this chapter is teaching me:
You don’t have to earn freedom. You just have to stop building in ways that take it away.
✨ What’s Next
If you’ve ever built a business that looked good from the outside but quietly drained you from the inside, this next part is for you.
Because behind every “success story” I just shared… there were also mistakes, burnouts, breakdowns, and some pretty questionable choices (hello, undercharging, overgiving, and saying yes when I meant no 😬).
And I want to show you all of it.
In the paid section, I’m breaking down every business I’ve built (from my first travel start-up to Old Soul Business) and what I learned from each one that could easily save you years of frustration (and about 10,000 cortisol spikes).
Here’s what I’ll cover 👇
✨ Here’s what you’ll unlock inside the full version (14-day free trial — cancel anytime):
The exact partnership mistake that cost me months of stress (and how to never lose your power in business again).
The mindset shift that turns “cold outreach” into soul-aligned sales — even if you hate selling.
The copy-paste business model that filled my bank account but emptied my soul — and the shift that finally brought both back into balance.
The quiet pattern that keeps coaches overgiving, under-earning, and wondering why their clients don’t “get it.”
The unspoken truth about running memberships that no one tells you — and why recurring revenue can secretly burn you out.
The energetic formula I use now to create more impact with fewer clients (and why scaling down actually scales you up).
The moment I realised leadership isn’t about holding it all together — it’s about knowing when to let go.
The behind-the-scenes of Old Soul Business — how I built a freedom-based ecosystem with Substack, courses, and a Bootcamp that sells without sales calls.
If you’re building or growing an online business right now, this will save you a whole lot of “what-the-fck-am-I-doing”* moments.
👉 Keep reading with a 14-day free trial — cancel anytime.