You Don’t Need a Coach. You Need to Trust Yourself.
How to design your own strategy that works without following the crowd, trends, gurus or coaches
Everywhere I look, people are searching for guidance.
Another coach.
Another framework.
Another strategy that promises clarity, certainty and results.
And yet, almost no one asks the most important question first:
Who am I and how do I actually work?
We’ve turned business, growth and even self-trust into something external. Something to be downloaded from someone else who “figured it out.”
But the truth is uncomfortable:
Everything works…
Until you force yourself into a way of working that was never yours to begin with.
Why Everyone Is Looking Outside of Themselves
We live in the age of personal development, coaching and self-growth.
And let me be clear: that in itself is a good thing.
People are more conscious than ever.
Almost all knowledge, about psychology, business, health, spirituality, money, is now available at the click of a button.
That, in itself, is something positive.
But here’s the part we rarely talk about.
Never before in human history have we been exposed to this much information, stimulation and opinion all at once.
Never before have we been so constantly confronted with the idea that we should become the best version of ourselves.
Whatever that even means.
And this is exactly where it starts to go wrong.
Because while we’re consuming more self-development than ever,
most people still don’t actually know themselves.
They’re trying so hard to do things “right”, while somewhere underneath it all, they’re completely lost.
They don’t know who they are beneath the noise.
They don’t know:
who they are
what they need
how they function
how they make decisions
what drains them
what fuels them or
what they’re even here to do.
Funny joke from Mother Nature:
that’s different for every single one of us.
At the same time, the online coaching and self-development industry has learned to tap into this perfectly.
Everyone wants to be someone who takes themselves seriously.
Who works on themselves.
Who invests in growth.
And the easiest way to signal that (to yourself and to the world) is by outsourcing it.
Hiring a (business) coach has quietly become a status symbol.
Almost like a badge that says: look, I’m doing the work.
But here’s the uncomfortable question I keep asking:
Are you really working on yourself when someone else is telling you exactly what to do?
Don’t get me wrong; shortcuts can be useful. Buying a course or learning from someone who has mastered a specific skill can save time and effort. Especially when you’re learning something you genuinely don’t know yet.
What concerns me is this:
Most of the time people hire coaches not because they don’t have answers, but because they don’t trust their own.
Instead of listening to that quiet inner voice, they follow the loudest voices online claiming they know better, know the way, and have the results to prove it.
And while they’re busy following someone else’s advice or path (and filling the coach’s wallet) they slowly drift further and further away from their own authenticity.
Once you see it, it’s almost funny.
Almost.
Because underneath it, it’s also a little sad.
We’ve normalised outsourcing our inner authority.
Instead of listening to ourselves, sensing, experimenting, and taking responsibility, we borrow certainty from the outside.
And I get it.
Doing the work yourself means you can’t blame anyone else.
And uncertainty is uncomfortable.
So coaches quietly become surrogate authority figures.
Not because they’re wiser. Let’s be honest, most of the time they’re not.
But because choosing for yourself, without permission, still feels terrifying.
“This Worked for Me, So It Will Work for You”
This is the biggest lie in online business.
Most strategies are sold as universal truths
This is how you should post.
This is how you should sell.
This is the strategy you should follow.
This is what you should do.
What’s never mentioned is that these strategies worked for one very specific person. With a specific nervous system. A specific personality. A specific energy level. A specific life context.
That part never gets translated.
The biggest red flag?
The word should.
Any strategy that tells you what you should do without first understanding who you are at your core and how you actually thrive is already misaligned.
There Is No “Right Way”. There Is Only Your Way
Some people thrive on structure.
Others suffocate under it.
Some people flourish in constant interaction.
Others need silence and long stretches of uninterrupted thinking.
Some people navigate life purely on intuition.
Others need spreadsheets, systems and time blocks down to the minute.
Some people need hard cut-offs the moment something feels off.
Others need time to slowly recalibrate.
This, and everything in between, is valid.
The problem isn’t that strategies don’t work.
The problem is applying someone else’s strategy before understanding yourself.
I learned this the expensive way.
At the start of my entrepreneurial journey (almost ten years ago) I hired my first coach.
And when you pay someone serious money, you do what they say.
She told me to build a 1:1 coaching business.
Her model. Her structure. Her definition of success.
So I followed.
Then I invested another €20K in the next coach.
Another “next level”.
Before I knew it, I had anchored a business model that didn’t fit me at all.
With the self-knowledge I have now, I could’ve saved nearly €30K by asking one simple question:
What kind of entrepreneur do I actually thrive as?
Because here’s the truth most people won’t admit:
I know I’m at my best when people leave me alone.
I don’t thrive in packed calendars, back-to-back Zoom calls, voice notes, constant availability, even though 1:1 coaching is sold as the ticket to freedom.
It’s not freedom for me.
It never was.
Somehow it’s still the norm.
More live calls. More live events. More access. More noise.
Now I know now, it’s not for me.
It’s definitely not the best way for me to serve my clients. So why would I?
With the awareness I have now, I could’ve saved myself years of stress, frustration, swimming against the current, and a lot of money.
The Part No One Ever Checks (And That’s the Problem)
What still blows my mind is this:
Almost no coach actually checks who they’re working with.
Yes, there’s usually an onboarding.
Yes, you tell your story.
Yes, they listen.
But it rarely goes any deeper than that.
No one really looks at:
your natural profile
your default way of making money
how you’re wired as a human being
what has always shown up in your life
the lessons you’ve already been given — over and over again — and keep ignoring
From patterns.
From data.
From the red thread running through your life.
And honestly?
That’s bizarre.
Because how can anyone tell you how to build a business…
without first understanding who you are and how you’re built?
Since I’ve seen this clearly, I’ve stopped working with almost all coaches altogether.
Not out of arrogance, but because (almost) no one meets my standard anymore.
So I went inward instead.
I started studying ancient systems and sciences that exist for one reason only:
to understand how humans actually function.
How you’re wired.
What your life mission is.
How you naturally attract money.
What drains you.
What strengthens you.
And how to translate all of that practically into your life and business.
And no, this isn’t something you do on a Sunday afternoon.
I’ve been doing this for years.
Layer by layer.
Mixture of multiple ancient wisdoms.
Deeper into the knowledge.
Deeper into understanding myself.
What That Gave Me (And Why I’ll Never Go Back)
What it gave me over over the last few years is something no strategy ever did.
I became solid.
Not only can I see through the bullshit of 99% of coaches, entrepreneurs and loud opinions online.
I also cleaned up my inner circle.
I only keep people around me now with whom I function at my best as a human being.
I no longer wobble when people question my choices.
When they say: are you sure you should do that?
Or why didn’t you do it differently?
Or talk behind my back.
It genuinely doesn’t affect me anymore.
Yes, I’ve become harder.
Especially in business.
But also clearer.
More grounded.
More precise.
I know exactly what I’m here to do.
And I don’t waste time anymore on anything that pulls me away from that.
When You Know Yourself, Strategy Becomes Obvious
Business-wise, this translated into something very simple:
A business that actually fits me.
I don’t need third parties telling me which strategy to follow.
Because when you know yourself, your strategy becomes obvious.
I know:
what I’m here to build
what I want to achieve
how I work best
where my strengths are
where my blind spots are
and how to design a business and life around them
I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do.
And that’s also why trends don’t distract me.
Where I used to get pulled into endless advice about Instagram growth, visibility hacks and content strategies, I now know: that’s not my path.
I’m not made to yell at my phone almost 24/7 in order to tell you how you should live your life.
Writing is my medium.
Depth is my strength.
Long-form is where my voice lands.
This Is My Way — Take It or Leave It
Yes, this goes directly against the current online culture.
The short-form.
The ADHD TikTok videos.
The constant fight for attention.
I’m not playing that game.
I write from my most pure form.
And if someone doesn’t take the time to read, they’re simply not my audience.
My people are the ones who want to slow down.
Who crave depth instead of noise.
Who want nuance, wisdom, reflection and real thinking.
I know I keep my audience hooked the more I stay rooted in my own power and truth.
That’s my path.
It goes against trends.
Against “how it’s supposed to be”.
And honestly?
I don’t give a …. 😌
The only way “how it’s supposed to be”…
is your way.
This Is Where The Shift Comes In
This is exactly why I created The Shift.
Not as another coaching program.
Not as another strategy.
And definitely not as a place where I tell you what to do.
The Shift is not about fixing you.
It’s about stripping away everything that was never yours to begin with.
Inside The Shift, I don’t give you a framework to follow.
I help you uncover your framework.
We start where almost everyone skips:
who you are, how you’re wired, how your energy works, how you naturally attract opportunities and money, and what keeps repeating in your life for a reason.
Not from your story.
Not from what you think you want.
But from facts, patterns and deeper layers you usually never look at.
I don’t work with surface-level answers.
This is not a place to hide behind a coach.
It’s a place where you take responsibility for your own leadership.
I won’t hold your hand.
I won’t chase you.
And I won’t think for you.
You do the work.
I guide, mirror and sharpen.
Because real self-trust is built through embodiment, not advice.
A Clear Boundary (And an Invitation)
If you’re looking for shortcuts, hype or someone to tell you exactly what to do?
This is not for you.
If you’re still addicted to trends, external validation or borrowed certainty?
This will feel uncomfortable.
But if you’re ready to stop outsourcing your power,
to slow down, go deeper, and build from who you actually are?
then this is the work.
Not louder.
Not faster.
Not more.
But truer.
And that’s exactly what we reclaim inside The Shift.
The Shift opens only a few times a year. If doors are currently closed, you can leave your details to stay informed.
There is no “how it’s supposed to be”.
There is only your way.
If this article made you pause, question something, or recognise yourself? Good!
That’s where real self-leadership starts.
If it resonated, like this article ❤️
And share your thoughts in the comments.
I read and respond to everything.
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